last dec.....

Working working working~~

My 2 months holidays was full with working and take care my dear..

Get my 1st month salary but is not enough to cover my things. Miss daddy mummy and sister..I knew they always worrying me alone at outside but i promise will take care myself and also proof to them what can i do.

Now stay at home take a nap. WUHU~~~just went out with his family and took a nice breakfast then back home lu. Now he was busy to modify his car>>his favourite<<>

Last month he went to Kl because his brother was sick and have to stay at hospital to take a fully body checking and that time he was busy to take care his brother until overnight at hospital. He slept on the table more than slept at hotel..felt very heart pain when I knew from him. After 1 weeks he came back here. He gave me a surprise that make me cant to forget it. Although is a box of love shape chocolate but he took a very funny reaction to give me..haha..very sweet lea..Now i still keep and haven eat..is a good memories between us. Happy~~~

Christmas was coming..dont know how to celebrate lea..he said want bring me go National Park o..haha, very happy lea..i want go o..hope this time really can go because last time my ex also said want bring me go but lastly break promise o...@@

My wish for this year:-

- Daddy and mummy can sweet2 to enjoy their life including my 2 oldest sister and also youngest sister lu..

- Can together celebrate his birthday..is every year o...really hope it...

- My course can be done..pray pray pray~~~

- My friends...pei san, i really hope our friendships can keep it like last time..u are my best friend..i hope u knew it. When u said u are sim tam with me that time i was hurt u know? I knew i was wrong but i really hope u can forgive me...

Lastly...Merry Christmas lu...Muax~~~~~!!!

what i am thinking now??

Actually is nothing happened for today but i keep feel that something will happen lea. Is like my heart very weird, is because of him? Or what? I don't know. Not everything already settle? Now our relationships has been stable? But i cant stop control to thinking those non-sense things, very nervous and stress. Is too many things was surrounding around my brain, work+family+friend and you. I trust you but i don't have my confident to trust myself. Waaa.............what happened to me o? Damm stupid o....huh.....!!!

holiday time~~

wooow..done my exam already..start to working at lintas there ^^

Now back to my office, miss all my staff and also my manager - Connie.. Now my position is a sales person and the main job is increase the sales of broadband.

Monday~ is the first day that i started to work. Firstly, i scared that i cannot even to handle all the information about the broadband and also others new plan bacause all the things was keep on changing, compare with last year everythings was difference. From here i only can reliaze that we cannot stopped the step in at the pass because all of that are pass tense, time wont waiting for us, so we must keep on upgrade ourself like what I am doing now. However, i set a target in my job which is everyday must keep at least 5 sales so that i can achieve the goal then also can get extra bonus and commision too.

Tuesday~ haha, not bad for today. I get 5 sales of broadband lea..i was very happy u know? I am the youngest staff but i still can keep my result as well and say honestly compare with other staff (older than me) i was better than them de lea..haha, happy2~~i always remind myself that must hardworking and be steady when i communicate with customers so that can build a good relationship with them then can get their business too, hohoho!!!

Wednesday~ Sick but also is very funny for today. Feel not very well when i woke up this morning, very faint and hot. No wonder la..i fever already..=="!! But i still went to work because i dun skipped my job and also dont want loss my sales($$$) too, even thought he keep ask me rest at home and take a leave but i dont want..haha!! I still can handle myself so i cannot waste my time too but i knew that if he heard i said like that sure will angry 1..hoho!! Back to office, tried to eat some biscuit and get back my energy but lastly i was lose. I ate a panadol from my manager then rest awhile than start my work. Although today i was sick but i still can hit my target,feel very happy lea. First time i meet a customer that she was very kind with me. What that the kind stand for？Today i helped a customer sign up a package and also setting her laptop, at the same time she ask me want drink any coffee or not but i answer that no need, is ok..you know what she say? She said that no no no~~you helped me settle so many problem i should spend u a cup of coffee and i said never mind because this is my responsibility but lastly she order 10 cups of coffee spend all my staff again. Omg!! Haha..so funny lea..

Thursday~ Raining day. Huhu..only get 3 of sales lea.. so charm! Its ok..i can get it back..hehe!! jia you o..^^

Friday~ Which is today lu..quite ok la..hehe! Gambateh!!

exam~~

ar....Omg lo..

Exam lea..aiks, tired...this few weeks just stay at home to do my revision..Although this is only a short sem then included 3 subject but is not easy for all the diploma students lu..specially me!!



1st day is Company Law....Hm..still ok la, wrote around 4 piece of paper..now my head fully with the cases with what section what year what date..which director had been sued..so stress man...huh..maolit=="!!



Second day is International Business...What international business stand for? Izzit already mentioned the word "INTERNATIONAL"?? Thats why lu..many factors, activities, system still playing around my brain lea..arrRR!!! What international trade...direct investment..SWOT analysis..monetary system...organization design...huh..faint~~~ Hm..for this sub, i only know how to do some question o...5 question i only knw 3 question...aiks, u see? charm or not? scare lea..[keep on praying now lu] ><"!!


Third day is Business Communication English.. Is my last day for exam..( which mean today lo..) Hm..damm tired lea..wrote 6 piece A4 paper, is both full page o...in 2 and the half hours..really maolit liao..but is ok for me in this subject..because my writing skills quiet good lu..and have more exprience mar..keke!! Time to charges..no more energy..haha!! but feel more free already..suddenly lost all the stress ^^ but then hope this semester result cn get nice2 o..^^ Hungry now..huhu =="!


Now waiting he fetch me lu..yeah~~happy2!! muax..thanks for ur support ya..i feel very sweet o..and also your song, although is only a chinese chores song^^ but is quiet enough for me..^^ muaxXx!!!!

nervous

God..did u heard me? y i cant get any respond from u de? feel very tired already...i reli need u..
aiks.. when then i cn settle my problem nerh?? God..please heal me.....................

busy week......

Just done my Business Communication English assignment but then no more time to rest because Company Law & International Business Assignment is coming. Huh..stress man!! This semester is a short sem, every assignment and test, quiz also took it with a short period. Now ready for my exam lu..20 Sept..ARrrrr!!!! What is my feeling now? Dunno how to describe, nthing can mention here, just hope can give me more time to handle it..thats all! But impossible..scare my result o! last sem result quite weak, feel very useless..fail 2 subject! Sad..cried 1 more weeks u knw? Its like u really got put in ur effort u cant see ur result...any reply from your effort there. Why?? Izzit my study way was wrong? Take note, remember the key point, go home do revision some more,but lastly what i get it? Moody.. i need to take action already. This sem result sure PASS!! I promise!!! May God Bless Me...HEal me too! Thanks God...^^

真正的觉悟了

昨天被弟弟痛痛快快的骂了一顿，哈哈。。感觉还蛮不错的，但有点惭愧。每次只会安慰别人，只会劝别人 但却把自己搞得一塌糊涂。 这次真的醒了，不再做傻事了。。谢谢你哦弟。。。^^
一切都跑回原点，生活变得较有规率。 每天早睡早起〉〉上学放学〉〉 煮饭洗衣〉〉温习.. 蛮自在的。。哈哈！ 姐答应你不再到那些地方了，ok? 也不会再受他的影响。 将自己保持在最佳状态，不让他们看扁自己！！ YEAH...I will find my way, wanna different way..^^ i will keep upgrade myself without u..stupid 080308..haha!! Bye bye lu...

A CRAZY HOLIDAY + KARAMBUNAI TRIP ^^

This is pupipu..haha, he is my handsome dd ^^

me, pipu and wong

im scare..........OMG

frenships 4ver^^

pretty pipu

nice blackground + pretty gal ( pei san)

lets play chess

haha...i like this ^^

muaxxXxx

happy2~~~

just finish ate break1st..hohoho

nice pose..haha!!! Vin liao...

muax...hehe, sweet kiss

piece ^^

ss at cp toilet..haha

3 flowers..haha

come dance 2gether ^^

happy2~~haha, i miss the day of we hang out together..( my best pretty pipu, pupipu DD and sopo wan wan ^^)
no stress..no grapvine..haha, thats good!!
no more things can notice here..now just shared me happy photo to everyone..muax!!!

Hari Raya...

Huh..just arrive home..damm tired o..but very happy because can helped daddy and get extra pocket money somemore..Now, i cant use/find any word to describe my life nw..was become stable? or lonely? Hm..but for me i feel very enjoy now. Can do everything i want..no need ask for permission..haha!! yesterday gt a weird customer, made me so angry o..he took my picture without my permission u know?? Huh..what the hell, that time i was very busy because my kakak came back for her town..Shit!! So weird lo...LOLX!!!

no title for today..

ANGRY!! What kind of problem are u making now? please respect urself if u want others respect u too!! Im WARNING here now, if i know that u still hurt my fren without some childish reason, dont say i dint or dont want give u a chance. You can wrote everythings at blog there means that u wont scare how was people looking at you, so i also no ned give any face to u too!! If u want to give comment or what please check or look for your condition, like what i am mention just now!!! "respect"!!!! Now i shut my mouth doesn't mean you can talk anything as u want..dont make me angry!!! Lolx..!!!!

izzit can called NEW LIFE??

Finally....i bcome single again..huh...i need a long rest and heal myself too..bt my result for this semester...all SOT..AR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whats wrong with me?? I promise god and also myself will concentrate on this semester...so nervous...need money again...always think that some of people they are rich but never appreciate what they have?? Got money really can help u done so many things u know? But they only know how put in their money into some nonsense things...lolX!!! They No need think bout the fees of textbook, repeat fees somemore...because what?? Their parents are rich..can cover all the fees..even tho is a big amount...Then me?? Feel so useless, i really tried my best to study hard...but i always get the result was make me disappointed 1...that is a big affect to me u know?? Stress......
God, i pray with u every night..do u listen to me?? I need u..................really...

today?? tomorrow??

Hm..
actually i dunno how to describe my feeling nw...
I MISS YOU..

ExAm~~~

Tomorrow is my exam week lu..so stress nerh..
this semester was very very busy than other semester..what BUSINESS LAW,TAXATION...huh...
make me feel tired and headache nerh..
today stay at home do my revision..
just now i was cried..
dunno what for...
bcoz of the song and the lyric was sad mar??
or.....gt another meaning thr??
i hate...
i dislike ...
i really dunno what i need and wants nw..
last time de ting ting get lost jor??
i cant find my way...feel very confuse...
because of what??
who make me will b like that??
i hate promise..i hate what dependency..i hate you changed so fast...
what 4ever also cheat ppl 1...
i wont be the second stupid anymore..
no next time...feel tired....i just want to delete my memories...y so hard 1??
i already plan after this diploma i wont stay at here anymore...
so sadly...
i really dunno what is my next step...
u always make me smile and cry..
bt nw i will make u regret...
let u knw that u r wrong..was totally wrong..
God..bless me.....

to my best ji mui>>pei san

dear..i feel very sorry with you..even tho u said is nt my fault..
sorry..i cannot help u do anythings..i knew u dun want cry in front of me..
u said u wan b strong..i knw that..
i knew that feeling..it was vry hurt..i ever tried before..
what is forever?? what is stand for??
i also dunno..i only knw that if you really believe in that word, lastly fall down and feel pain or hurt was you..
lolx..like him..
every promise are such like rubbish..
when feel dun need it then throw..nt even to think their feeling..
pipu..u think carefully...
no matter what i will support u..
im here..ok??
FRIENDSHIPS FOREVER!!!

最幸福的事~~

你撐著雨傘 借我那次 已經足夠我 記得一輩子
我懂後來你不是不堅持 愛情本來就 沒萬無一失

淚水離開了 你的手指
那不如讓它 流在這信紙
我想女孩子 最貼心的是
讓愛的人選結束的方式

我最幸福的事 當過你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩飾 讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢
為摯愛的人 在左邊心口保留位置 是最幸福的事

可惜愛不是 童話故事 不能夠永遠 依賴著王子
才慢慢認識只剩兩個字 我怎麼忍心 為難你解釋

我最幸福的事 當過你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩飾 讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢
為摯愛的人 在左邊心口保留位置 是最幸福的事

那一陣子有你 美的不像現實
多高興每一幕都微笑著靜止

我最幸福的事 牽著你的日子
一段愛從開始 直至分開我們都對彼此誠實
最幸福的事 對那片海用力大喊永遠的樣子
想得起的事 那天和你傻笑著認識
是最幸福的事

miss u my dear fren >>CONNIE<<

sister,miss u here..
even tho u r nt here..
but u always b in my heart..
feel vry sad..
i'm still remember last time u teach n help me ..
u ask me dun sad n cry bcoz of him..
u ask me dun feel dissapointed bcoz of him..
u ask me dun leave church bcoz of him...
and many...
now i reli cn do it..
but why u was not here??
i promised myself wont cry in front of u 2day..
coz nickie said u dislike we cry in front of u..
connie..
thanks..
thank you that everything u support me before..
i wont 4get bout that..
love u this fren..
miss u!!

好无辜的一天

这世界就是如此，你不想遇到的却偏偏每次都让你遇到，怎样的逃避也都一样。
你说我什么都不对你说，但如果我说了，你会选择相信我吗？我想那是不可能的吧。。
说到底她是你的女朋友，有谁会不相信自己的女朋友的呢？
好伤心好无奈哦。。
为什么每次都要这样对我？？
我做错了什么吗？
为什么每次都要跑来惹我呢？
我不和你吵是不想与你计较，毕竟你还是个小妹妹！
但保持沉默并不代表好欺负的。。你懂吗？
好气哦。。。。。
讨厌啦！！这世界怎么会有这种人呢？？？
真是的！！

最后一次。。

这是一位17岁女生刻骨铭心的爱情创作...

没有人知道这女孩的名字...

但确认的是她已经死了...

有一对感情非常好的小情侣...

双方家长都很满意对方...

准备大学毕业就结婚...

但是正当高三学校体检...

验出女孩血蛋白有异常...

之后去医院检查...

证实患了一种非常罕见的隐形皮肤遗传病....

那种病越严重皮肤就越嫩...

最后会因为皮肤太嫩..

而承受不了肌肉和血管的压力而撑裂...

虽然没得医...

但男生和双方家长都要求女生住院...

就算没得医也尽量活得长些...

当医生确定她最多只剩一年命后...

女孩并没有被恐惧笼罩着...

而是天天陪男友和家人......

散散步和看日落日出....

然后开始写日记...

努力把过去的每一天都记录下来...

当女生写到某一次和男友出街的详情时...

女生发觉自己笔下的文字...

绝大多都是和男友的点点滴滴...

包括一起经历的事...

男生已经成为她生命中不可缺少的一部分...

于是她决定留一份礼物给他.....

几个星期后...

曲作好了,词也填好了...

于是就叫朋友帮忙录歌...

已经病入膏亡的女生...

喉咙和皮肤一用大力就会出血...

但是她还是坚持自己唱...

当歌录出来之后...

她竟然要求使用安乐死...

这是她早就打算好的想法...

当女生将要离开人世时...

她对男生说了一句话...

"再都看不到日出啦! 但是我不怕,因为有你陪我挨着"我爱你.......

由于女生最喜欢的是日出...

所以男生就走遍所有可以看到日出的地方...

把所有的日出都送给死去的最爱...

2008年年头....

男生失足堕山...

尸体被发现时已经腐烂不堪....

但是照片里的朝阳充满温暖....

安息吧...愿他俩来世可以再续前缘....

歌曲:最后一次

歌词:

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

先走了 去了好远的地方
不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易
生死由天决定 不要太伤心
在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

来自我一个朋友的故事

由于不方便透漏她的姓名，我只好取名为小嘉好了。

小嘉长得好平凡。论面貌身材都不及别人好，至于她到底有什么是吸引人的连她都不懂。生活本来很平淡的她，忽然认识了一个男生。我们就称那男生作A 好了。
当小嘉第一次见到A 时，心里就有种很奇怪的感觉。心跳得好快，只感觉到自己的脸热热的。。而那时候的男生也一直的对着小嘉笑。就这样的，两人开始认识也慢慢地交往起来。刚开始的他们真的好开心好幸福，仿佛他们就是一对比任何人都来得很快乐的一对情侣。小嘉对A的体贴，A对小嘉的心意。这是人人都有目共睹的事情。而且双方都已经见家长了，这应该都是很多情侣都很羡慕的一件事吧？ 两人一起渡过了很多的风风雨雨，从来都不离弃对方。但所谓 “快乐的时光过得总是特别快” 。
一年多后，A 向小嘉提出分手。你知道吗？这对她来说的打击是多么的大。A 的原因。。。。真的很难让她接受。只觉得一切已不再属于她了。。而她，什么也做不到。因为她知道一旦A决定了的事，是没有完转的余地。一切，她只能默默地承受。
至到现在，每个人都说她变了。其实她一点也没变，她只不过把自己的心给封起来。她害怕被伤害的感觉，小嘉只知道她不能再承受再次的伤害，所以她选择当个被人眼中的坏女孩。也许，，这样对她是种防护罩吧！没有人懂她心里真正的感觉及想法，因为她不再相信人了。。。。。。

><*!!

Aiks...
today sch already came out a letter to me said need to pay RM570 for the repeat fee..
and also ned to pay before 26 June..
hw to i get money?? for this amount??
NERVOUS!!!
always think bout money..
always thinking tat hw i get money to pay my sch fees..
always thinking tat hw cn i save more and more and more money???

Dady mummy..
i reli dun wan study tis diploma course..
tats nt i want...
can u guys think n knw more bout me??
can u guys always believe in me??
i only hope tat u two cn trust me..care my feeling..support when i need u two dad and mum..
tats only my hope..
i was vry sad ..
tat day u said wan my fren's number..
wan check me..
my heart...so painful..
dad n mum...
my birthday....u guys still remember??
i ned u two....
bt y always make me dissapointed??
....................................................................

d0WnNnNn~~~

unhappy...
dunno hw to explain it...
its like actually u knw all the plan but the next step dun have confident to settle it..
damM stupid!!!
aRrRRR...
wats wrong wit me???
i dunno which person i cn believe 1..
and also dunno after tat wat will b happen again??
about me again??
dun care is family..school or church...
sure gt my fault 1..
sad...
sry my dear fren..(for tho i havent explain to u guys my reason)
actually i wan tell u guys but sometimes reli dunno hw to start it..
i only cn say every ppl hav difference opinion..
and also the way hw u settle it..
for me..
i reli think carefully b4 when i done or make some decision...
sry my leader..
i make u dissapointed...
i also knw tat u wont understand my reaction..
just lik wat u said...
we are simple....
so always use SIMPLE to settle it...
SORRY..


nw i was siting at cyber..
body was here bt the brain was thinking...
GOD..
PLEASE HELP ME...
i keep on pray wit u...
hope everythings just stop at there..
plz....

happy birthday..^^

5 June...my birthday..
actually tat day is a special day for me..
early morning..quarrel wit dady mummy...
feel vry down..
NitezZ..celebrate wit my dear n frens....
tat was vry fun and happy..
even tho dun have a big birthday cake or a party..
but for me..
everythings are already enough...
bcoz...
i have a lot of frens acc me...
my dear gave me a big supprise..
his present, i will post out it soon...
happy...
muax!!
And my dd XIAO JONG, thanks o..
jie feel vry gan dong..
muax!!
thanks u guys...
^^

新发型^^

=="

今天的心情好down 哦。。上个学期的成绩公布了，当爹地妈咪收到那封来自学校寄来的成绩时。。真的好生气。
对不起。。我知道那个学期是我没用功，至于考到差的原因。。我想。。也应该是我自己最清楚吧！！感觉。。真的很对不起爹地妈咪。。好愧疚。。我又辜负他们对我的期望了。。
我真的好没用哦。。发生了那么多的事，让我知道有很多东西不是说你要就有的。。就好像我。。我真的比别人更加的去努力，但换回来的却是一次比一次的痛。。无论是学业，还是感情。。都是一样，好难过。。真的好难过！！
一个学期比一个学期更难了。。好怕。。真的好怕哦。。压力好大。。
啊。。。谁可以救我呀。。。。。。。。？？？？？

我知道〉〉BY2

从来没想过
不能再和你牵手
委屈时候 没有你
陪着我心痛
一切都是我
太过骄纵
以为你会懂
一直忘了说
我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽然 分开的理由
我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以 即使到最后
还微笑着 要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会 在离开时
闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实 这份爱没停过
曾经完整幸福的梦
在脑海里头
我多希望你
还在我左右
不让 这些眼泪白流

某某人。。。

好开心好开心。。嘻嘻！！

他在我的名单里已变成了一个过客。

现在只有一首歌能形容吧 〉〉〉沉默玩具 《〈〈〈

婷婷在这里要证明给你们看，MY LIFE WONT SUCKS WITHOUT U!!!!!!

你失去我，是你的损失哦！！blerr.....

Muax...

thanks frens~~

N also................

H0HO~~~

"LOVE YOU FOREVER"

致我亲爱的弟弟〉〉小宗

弟弟，答应我要加油哦！要记得，你并不是一个人。。你有家人，朋友。。好有我这个“姐姐” 哦！我会陪着你一起度过现在的日子，我相信我们一定会等到你我都想要的那一天的，而且主会看顾着我们呀！！姐答应你的事， 一定会做到的！我们一起加油哦！！muax!!!

有趣的小妹妹 及 。。。哈哈

这些天都没更新我的博客，因为实在有点忙。 我从来都没有这种感觉，直到我遇见了他们一家人。有个小妹妹，她做出了让我感到哭笑不得的事情耶！！ 她竟然替自己的哥哥和她哥的女朋友去设计他们的照片，她真的好可爱哦！！与她家人在一起真的好开心哦。。真的好羡慕她们！！虽然并不是比人家富有，但他们是靠着自己人的努力熬下来的。虽然外面看去是间很普通的家，但只要你一踏入那扇门，就会感受到里面的气氛。虽然他们常常都在斗嘴，表达方式比较特别。。但其实他们都是非常的爱及疼爱他们的家人。不久之后，你就会感染了他们脸上的那一份喜悦。现在想起，那是幅多么幸福的画呀！经过不久的相处，让我更佳的肯定自己的感觉。为什么呢？说不上。。心里会不由自觉的欣赏他起来，也许是看见他对家人的付出吧。。那是真正认识他的人才会有目共睹，知道他的一切！！无论如何， 我还是会选择相信你的。。要记的哦！

人与人之间的承若是有极限的。。
没有永远一定的可能性。。。。。
没有永远一定的保障。。。。。。
无论有多坚固的自信。。。。。。
也永无法保证将它实现。。。。。
因人的思想总是善变。。。。。。
爱的承若何尝不是如此。。。。。
它可以如风吹来。。。。。。。。
也可如沙漂去。。。。。。。。。
一点一滴也无法流去。。。。。。
剩下的残余也只能带来痛苦。。。
与其折磨自己。。。。。。。。。
不如放开自己。。。。。。。。。
爱情本来就没有万无一失的一刻。
它永远是个未知数。。。。。。。
它永远让人摸不透。。。。。。。
它永远是个幸福。。。。。。。。
也是个痛苦的爱。。。。。。。。

最熟悉的陌生人

还记得吗 窗外那被月光染亮的海洋
你还记得吗 是爱让彼此把夜点亮
为何后来我们 用沉默替代依赖
曾经朗朗星空 渐渐阴霾
心碎离开 转身回到最初荒凉里等待
为了寂寞 是否找个人填心中空白
我们变成了世上 最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折 各自悲哀
只怪我们爱得那么汹涌 爱得那么深
于是梦醒了 搁浅了 沉默了 挥手了 却回不了神
如果当初在交会时能忍住了 激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里 沉沦

安静

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

love's beautiful

看着时间 别让它再流浪
从前我太适应悲伤
你的出现在无疑中 却深深撼动我
一起走着 没说什么 心是满足的
这个世界 随时都要崩塌
我没有其他的愿望
假如明天将消失了 趁现在我爱着
只想记得 被你抱着 温柔的感受
Love’s beautiful
So beautiful
我失去过 更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我 被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手 不要放手 永远守护我
Love’s beautiful
So beautiful
我很快乐 你会了解我
我不会再哭泣 是因为我相信
我们勇敢地爱着
每秒钟 都能证明一生的美丽

u hurt me so bad~~

Just came back from kudat..huh..some of them said vry tired!! But for me, no feeling. Izzit fun when going kudat?? Actually not really..hm..y??
Dunno...maybe...i havent settle my problem...is my own problem!! Friday nite pastor maggie bring us went to bar..bt lastly i get drunk!! lolx..feel so crazy man...!! Hm..i forget jor wat i talk with him tat night..i just remember i cried in front of him...vry sad!! I already try my best to forget everythings..keep on smiling in front of u..bt in my heart..when i saw u keep on messagging..my heart was pain!! 1 year ++ already..i tot v cn together lik wat u said last time..i go n design a set of present for us, i planning tat i cn give u at tis month>> 8 May<< !! But lastly..everythings stopped. Sad..reli sad!! Every night cannot sleep 1, sometimes will thinking tat why suddenly everythings was changed?? missing u...bt i know tat u wont think bout me again..wat should i do?? only hope can forget u...as soon sa possible..

单身

恢复了单身的身份，说真的真的有点不习惯，就连电话也静了起来，好苦闷哦！
这些天身体变得较弱，动不动就生病。。觉得自己好没用哦！我。。应该已经放下了，就让一切以句号来结束吧！我对自己立下了一个承若，在这四年里不会谈感情的事，只会一心一意的去读书。在这段时间里，我会好好的去和家人相处。现在对我来说没有比家人对我更重要了 。好好的去服事神，不想让神，领袖及我的一班教会朋友失望。读完这里后，我要离开这里到别边求学。我要靠自己，像我姐一样。没有男朋友是不会死的，更何况只有把书给念好才能和时代一起同步。有了智慧，我一样可以生活得很愉快。之后，我要带家人去旅行，让他们天天都可以去享受。然后要买间比现在还要大的家，好让姐姐妹妹拥有自己的一个房间。买架新车给爸爸，那爸爸想去哪里就去哪里，带妈妈一起去逛街，不用再像现在那样的节省。给妹妹最好的读书器材，让她能更加的方便也就不会让爹地妈咪失望了。我一定要努力，再辛苦也是值得的。虽然不能实现我原来的愿望，但只要家人开开心心，平平安安就好了。张莉婷，加油哦！别让别人看扁，证明给他们看你是行的！！！GOD BLESS ME!!

加油

经历了那么多的事，觉得自己真的会想了很多。我承认自己还是很伤心，但至少我比其他的女生幸福的多，因为我身边有着很多的朋友在支持我，让我能感觉到这一切都不是我自己一个人在面对。有个朋友说，问题不是出在与我，我是一个很冷静的女生，后面排着很多的男生在等着你。但我不要这些。。你们知道吗？每个人都会面临着这样的经历。为什么当我们失恋时会比对方多一倍的心情来得更伤心？因为我们比别人独特，所以就算碰到什么事情，我们都有着双倍的力量去解决，去学会坚强的去过日子甚至多一倍的力量去爬起来。姐说得对！人生并不是只有爱情，最重要的是智慧。只有智慧不会背叛你。你知道吗？我没有怪你，也许我太了解你了。其实你再想的事情我都知道，只是我保持沉默而已。也许是我在逃避吧。。我好怕去面对接下来你要对我说的事情。连你都发现有问题了，我怎么可能会没发现呢？我有问过哥哥，如果我或者你提出分手，那会是怎样。。。（虽然我真的很爱你，并不会提出分手）但哥哥却说他会继续的支持我们。和你在一起已经一年两个月了，说放下你是骗人的。你还记得那天问我为什么一直听“Love Beautiful”吗？里面的歌词，真的好有意思哦!我想你也和我有用感吧！和你在一起真的很开心，你对我的承若，我会放在心里。。但不会再去期待，你放心吧！ 答应我好好照顾自己，我不会讨厌你的，放心哦！傻瓜，她是个好女孩。。好好珍惜她吧！加油哦！我祝福你们。。


爱你的婷婷，
上

分手

二零零九年四月二十五日，我们分手了。。一切已结束。无论你答应我的或是承若，在那一杀间变成了白影。。为什么？？告诉我并不是这样的好不好。。

好苦恼哦。。

还在考试期耶。。压力好大哦！！神啊。。救我啊！！！！

说好的幸福呢？？？

你知道吗？当你说你有要选择她这个念头的时候，我的感觉心情是怎样的吗？好痛。。我们不是好好的吗？你知道吗？为了你，要我做什么都可以。是我不好。。不是个好女朋友，好失败哦！是你。。让原本什么都不会的婷婷懂得怎样去面对一些的事情。好怀念之前的日子。。那时候的我们真的好开心好幸福哦！好爱你。。你应该听厌了吧？你说过你不善于表达，我何尝不是呢？每次都惹的你不开心。。还要你哄得我那么累。。真的好失败哦！！！老公， 我只想好好的陪你，珍惜现在和你的日子。。你快要去读书了，好好照顾自己哦！傻瓜，想你哦！

心碎。。

为什么??为什么要那样的对我??
为什么要这样??
好伤心。。我心真的 好痛。。。
为什么你要对她有感觉??我一直 都那么相信你。。。为什么?????
好痛。。。。老公，为什么??可以告诉我吗?? 我真的承受不住这样的打击。。。。为什么偏偏是我? 告诉我好不好???我好怕自己撑不下去。。。我真的好爱你。。但你却。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。为什么。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

....

他今天 对我说 五月就要 走了 。。要我好好照顾自己 。。好伤心。。真的好伤心

家人？？自己？？

心情好遭哦。。第一天考试就发生这些问题。常在想别人读书是为了自己的理想而勇往直前，但我呢？我是为了什么？是为了我自己吗？还是为了安抚家人？？？
这个星期都是考试日子。别人正在埋头苦干，我也不例外。。但与他们有差的是读到抱着书来哭，好像好悲惨似的。怎么办？感觉自己好像是个没有灵魂的躯体，正在不停的操作。。为了什么？？？不懂。。好痛苦哦。。。

感动。。

好感动哦。。谢谢你们那么的帮我，让我知道原来还有真正的友情。佩珊，蔚欣，哥哥〉〉〉〉〉〉brian, 弟弟〉〉〉xiao jong, aloysius。还有你。。我的dear..谢谢你们哦！在我最困难，最难过的时期陪着我。。还帮了我那么多。。真的好感动哦！我不会忘记你们的。。muaxXx!!!

希望。。

这几天都在忙， 所以都没时间更新我的博客。刚刚完成了我的BIS assignment, 总算是松了一口气。但接下来的这几个礼拜就考试了，好怕会要repeat 哦！
希望。。为什么我的标题竟然选择希望？我也不晓得，也许我真的很希望他去读他最想读的课程吧！虽然心里有多么的不舍， 但还是希望他开心。这些天发生了好多的事情， 也让我明白有很多事情并不是我一个人所可以掌控的。原来我是真的那么那么的爱他，甚至超乎了自己的范围。当那一刻起， 也让我知道自己是多么的在乎他，很怕会失去他。如果一切都顺利的话，他将回到西马修读了。虽然我们都与对方做出了承诺，但毕竟他是那么的远，而且当他读完后出来可是一名人才，而我呢？只是一个很平凡的人。有时候真的很怕会配不起他，自己是什么？功课样貌都不比别人好。。好怕。。真的好怕！！家人每次都说要我比别人努力，不然那什么配他？好伤心。。常在想如果家人能给我一点的鼓励，那该多好啊！我一定会更有自信去做每件事情的。好累。。也好想你哦。。你知道吗？？？？？？？？？？

我的好朋友。。。

刚才看了我朋友她自己的博客，觉得像她那么好的女生。。为什么不让她有个好男生给她幸福呢？其实我和她真正认识的时间应该是一年都不到，却让我发自内心地欣赏她起来。她好坚强哦！答应过自己的事真的做到，你知道吗？认识了你，也是我进基业堂另外一个收获。加油哦。。我的朋友~~NiCkIE!

属于自己的部落格

好开心哦！我终于有着属于自己的部落格，感觉真是太棒了！今天是三月的最后一天，明天将步入四月了。二零零八年三月八日，是我和“他”在一起的日子。不知不觉中，我们已经一年零一个月了。在这当中，我们也算是经过了风风雨雨在能熬到现在吧！和他在一起，我真的好幸福。每当每晚睡觉前我都会许个愿，希望我们能用永永远远的在一起，就像现在那样，那该多好啊！好像想你哦。。晚安哦！爱你。。



《〈〈这是他送我的哦。。muaxXx,爱你！！